Monday, December 21, 2009 / 12/21/2009 05:59:00 PM
Hmph.
I don't know if you will read this. I don't know if you'll care. But I care about what you did.
I just found out yesterday. A part of me was shocked, yet another part of me just smirked and went:
I knew it.
I knew you weren't to be trusted.
But you had him under your spell. You said you needed him. You begged him to never leave you. And I think he wouldn't have. At least not the way you did.
Was it all an act, in the end? Some pathetic act and an outpouring of excuses.
He thought you were sincere.
Heck, for a second even I thought so too.
Everything you said as a defense and excuse for your goodbye seemed plausible.
But what just happened, hmm?
I only see girls like you on television. I only hear about girls like you through rumors and gossip.
I can only just watch in amazement at the damage you've done.
Merry Christmas...
I dont know how you can live with what you did.
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Sunday, December 20, 2009 / 12/20/2009 04:52:00 PM
:/
Haven't been blogging lately.. in fact, I haven't even been online very consistently, which is a very strange thing for a girl in her term holidays.
I actually enjoy my job now... I thought I would hate it but I've embraced it and that's what I've been spending my days with.
And I've also made friends with the staff there, even though I'm the first student to work there.
:)
As much as I don't mind working, the thought of quitting has slowly seeped into my mind...that was after I studied the last page of the calendar for the year 2009; the month of December.
And then it occured to me that in TWO MORE WEEKS I would be stepping into January 2010.
And then it occured to me again, how much I DID NOT accomplish this holiday.
Either I'm a fantastic procrastinator or a very failing overachiever.
This holidays felt kind of empty.
NO YOUTH CAMP. *sobs*
I think without Youth Camp the year is really incomplete and unfulfilled.
But at least we did Christmas Caroling.
And next year....
Form Five.
SPM.
...
Yeah.
I feel like quitting my job so I can fully enjoy this last couple of weeks of freedom before... you know.
What's the hardest part about quitting a job?
When your dad is your boss at work.
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Tuesday, December 8, 2009 / 12/08/2009 06:54:00 PM
keep holding on..
I'll be there for you!
And so will all of your friends that care about you.
I've been through it before.
You've also been through it before.
No matter how much you think you won't ever recover, you will...
trust me on this one...no wait, no, TRUST GOD!
Wish I could talk to you now but you're not at home.
=.=
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Started work again, but at another place.
My job is incredibly boring and by no means as exciting and busy as being a waitress at a hip, popular, crowded diner. Heh.
But oh well. I guess it's better than being at home wasting my time on the Internet. I'm so free at work that I finished a book there today! And I still get paid! xD
I feel disappointed with myself because the year is ending and I've been wasting my time, yet again.
But at least I have 'work experience'.
I'm not ready to let 2009 slip away.
Or, more like I'm not ready for 2010.
CHRISTMAS SEASON IS NEAR!!!
I love Christmas. The joy that's in the air is just EXHILARATING!
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Friday, December 4, 2009 / 12/04/2009 06:26:00 PM
GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was forced to quit my job.
AFTER THE SECOND DAY!!!!
UGH!!!!
I can't decide if I'm more angry, sad or disappointed.
I actually ENJOYED it.
I was actually GOOD at it. =.=
I CAN'T BELIEVE MY PARENTS DID THIS TO ME!!!
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/ 12/04/2009 11:11:00 AM
I wish...
Please give me this chance.
Please let me have this opportunity to do something new, exciting, challenging and different.
Please let me FINISH this experience.
This is my chance to learn independence, self-reliance, calm under pressure, social skills, patience, strength, confidence and at the same time humility.
I've been waiting for a chance like this.
Well, not exactly like this, but I've been wanting to do something self-developing.
I know you think I can self-develop in other ways but I won't have this kind of opportunity anymore...
I know you're doing your job worrying about me and trying to do what you feel is best for me. I'm ever thankful of that and I understand...
But I know I can do this!
I wish you would see that 16 is not the age of a small child but of a growing adolescent who wants a chance at something different.
I know why you're so reluctant to let me have this...
But I'm prepared to accept those things, face the consequences of my actions.
I want you to TRUST me.
Not to worry so much about me.
Please...
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Thursday, December 3, 2009 / 12/03/2009 02:34:00 AM
I just got back from work and showered! And it's already almost three a.m in the early morning.
So in total I've been working and on my feet and not eating and not resting for ten whole hours straight.
CRAZY but it's really a cool experience!
But the problem is...
NOW MY MOM WANTS ME TO QUIT!!!!
What the heck man.
What do I do?!?!?!
I can't quit now!!!
Sure the hours are crazy.
Sure it's tiring.
Sure they dont treat us like royalty.
Sure I'm giving up the rest of my holidays to work.
Sure I miss out on alot of fun and REST.
Sure it's slightly degrading as a waitress.
BUT ITS A TOTALLY NEW EXPERIENCE THAT I WILL NEVER HAVE ANOTHER CHANCE AT!!!!!!!
Sigh.
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Wednesday, December 2, 2009 / 12/02/2009 09:32:00 AM
news!
It's already December!!! *mouth gapes open*
One more month and it would be 2010.
There are many things I said I would accomplish during the holidays that I haven't started on... OH NO!
But the thing is I just gave up all my free nights for the rest of the entire year...
TO WORK!
Yup, I just got my first official job and I start work tonight. My hours are crazy. From before 5pm to past 1-2am in the early morning.
What am I working as?
..
...
....
A WAITRESS!
Okay, it doesn't sound very glamorous and fun at all. My family was quite surprised when I suggested that I work as a waitress at this place.
My sister was like 'Ew!'
HAHA XD
It's gonna be hard work, long hours, dirty, exhausting and who knows what kind of people I'll have to deal with?
But I'm actually kinda excited about it (albeit the butterflies in my stomach that attack once every few minutes).
It'll be a totally new experience and my parents are quite happy that I get to try something I've never done before in my life.
I'm working at... a restaurant. ;)
Let's see if you guys can find me at that 'restaurant' one of these nights. xD
Oh Lord, please don't let me mess up! ><
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Monday, November 30, 2009 / 11/30/2009 01:41:00 PM
back from camp!!! again! =)
Back from OBS! But I'm lazy to blog about that, but my mom forwarded an interesting email to me so I decided to post it here.
Love him or hate him, Bill Gates sure hits the nail on the head with this!
Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time..
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
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Thursday, November 26, 2009 / 11/26/2009 06:04:00 PM
><
Recently I've been brainwashed by my classmates and now, I can't believe it, but I'm now into a craze that is so unexpected, so shocking, but will probably fade away in a few weeks/months.
K-pop!!!
As in, KOREAN POP. 0.0
I know. I can just hear those smirks, snickers and taunts. =.=
But seriously. I have a thing for Super Junior and Super Junior M now.
Somebody pinch me!
I can even recognize their faces enough to name them out, one by one, without reference!!! And they're 13 of them... >< 'Sorry sorry' and 'Neorago (It's You)' are their best songs, hence their two singles. If you're bored, free, and curious, check the music videos out on Youtube. ITS COOL, really!
....
And this is a subgroup, Super Junior M. They sing Mandarin songs for the Chinese fans. Like me! At least I can remotely understand what they're singing, instead of being totally lost with Korean!
Cho Kyu Hyun is the group's best singer.
=D
...
I AM NOT OBSESSED.
I AM NOT OBSESSED.
I AM NOT OBSESSED.
I AM NOT OBSESSED.
I AM NOT OBSESSED.
I just like them.
Case closed!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009 / 11/25/2009 09:27:00 AM
=D
Holidays have this ability to make me feel completely, totally, wholly CONTENT at times.
Of course the feeling isn't 24/7, because there are still business to take care of, things to do, stuff to think and worry about.
But overall, when there is no school, it's like a part of me feels released, free, unchained and unbound.
Did y'all know that I had major issues with school back in the primary school days?
I did almost everything I could to escape classes. Faking sick, making myself sick.. anything just not to face school.
I was a weird child! ><
But of course things got better as I grew up.. and things really turned around for the better in secondary school. I think it's thanks to the more relaxed atmosphere and friends that I could fit in better with. =)
And God used Reloaded Youth to change me as well! Without Youth my confidence and self-esteem would probably be on a dangerously sinking level.
So... yeah. Even if I don't have issues with school like I did before, it's not that I'm DYING to get back either. Finally, we get to have a BREAK!
4S1 was insane and intense but my classmates and I did it together, and that made it survivable!
Anxiety and fear flood my emotions when I think about class next year. Like, seriously FLOOD them, 2012 style. Gonna miss my friends like crazy in class.
But of course there's this excitement that's brewing inside just thinking about everything that's to come.
Final year.
Senior year.
SPM year.
Last year before we officially all go out to the world and show 'em what we've got!
Gotta make this count!
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Friday, November 20, 2009 / 11/20/2009 12:04:00 PM
THANK YOU GOD
Woke up early this morning to go for an early morning job and climb up the hill nearby with my dad...
Had a good run and climb, came home, took a shower, ate breakfast and lay down on the couch to enjoy a good ol' dose of Reader's Digest.
Quarter-way through the mag I fell asleep on the couch, with the kitten curled up on my stomach.
=D
Something awesome happened!
I CAN GO TO OBS!
The thing was, my parents refused to let me go to OBS because they claimed that I went too often. But somehow I didn't really agonize over it because something in me said that it would still work out anyway.
My dad has a quote, "If you REALLY want it, you'll get it."
So, go figure. xD
But another thing was, other parents heard my dad's reasons why i couldn't go, and then Jeremy couldn't go.
Way to go, daddy. ><
But now.
HE CAN GO TOO!
God works in the weirdest ways.
THANK YOU LORD!
So now everyone is going except for Gregory.
Tu lah, why you go run away on vacation. ><
Oh and Shelby is facing obstacles in going too.
*crosses fingers for Shelby to go*
My motto for this holiday(and the rest of my life?)
DO NOT WASTE TIME.
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Tuesday, November 17, 2009 / 11/17/2009 08:52:00 AM
hello there
Promises are hard because they're meant to be kept;
I'll remember every single word; everything you said...
There're mountains not yet climbed;
Oceans not yet combed...
Everything might crumble;
Or it just might still hold...
But until the end of time;
I pray you'll never say goodbye...
-mr-
Don't worry, I'm not being emo. ;)
Operation 'Accomplish' commences today!!!
*note to self*
DO NOT WASTE TIME!
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I can even recognize their faces enough to name them out, one by one, without reference!!! And they're 13 of them... >< 'Sorry sorry' and 'Neorago (It's You)' are their best songs, hence their two singles. If you're bored, free, and curious, check the music videos out on Youtube. ITS COOL, really! 
